Loss, Healing, Peace


The grieving period.  We hear about this a lot.  It’s when we go through incredible pain, sadness, shed a lot of tears.  We go through the “What ifs”.  We may have regrets.

We look at Photos, recall memories both good and bad…all these things are wonderful and help us in remembering times with our loved one, and are helpful tools in gaining acceptance during the grieving period.  But if you think about it, while doing this we are focusing most of our attention on them being “gone”.

Acceptance and processing your loss I believe, are necessary.  But, what do we do to move forward?  Sometimes we can’t envision living life without them.  So, the sadness and pain continue…sometimes for years.  There comes a point, after acceptance, that we need to find a way forward.

What if you focused on them being with you still – not in physical form, but in Spirit?

It’s important to know that this is not about right or wrong – it’s simply about BELIEVING…and remember, YOU get to choose what you believe. 

Just imagine for one moment, the difference in how you might feel if you thought of them still being with you on some level, as opposed to thinking about them being gone completely.  Do you think you may find some comfort in that?

This is how I find peace and the courage to move forward after the loss of a loved one.

Talk to them as if they are in the room with you.  Laugh with them when something reminds you of what they would say to you about something.  For example, I can remember my Mum telling me things when I was a child.  Back then, I’m sure my Mum thought her advice went in one ear and out the other.  So I catch myself doing something now that I remember my Mum telling me about when I was younger – and I will say out loud “see Mum, I WAS listening”.  This always produces a huge smile on my face, as I think of her expression in response to my comment.

Another example is when my Mum used to tell me what it was like when she was going through menopause.  One thing in particular, which my brother and I used to laugh at and tease her about, was this ridiculous sudden urge to go “pee”!  My Mum would stand up from sitting on the couch, and suddenly squeeze her knees tightly together and start walking towards the bathroom like a penguin, scrunching her face and saying things like “oh, oh dear, oops”.  Now that I am completely in menopause, I totally know what she was going through!  When it happens to me, I look up and say, “oh goodness, Mum, you’re probably laughing your head off at me right now!”, and I will laugh right along with her.

It’s the same thing when you lose a pet.  I love animals, and really am a dog lover and they truly are my fur babies.  Losing them is like losing a family member.  Sadly, I have been through this many times in my life.

My last little fur baby left me this month.  Fletcher was 16 years old, so he lived a good long life.  But this doesn’t make it any easier when they pass over.  I have talked to him every day since he left.  I even say “see you later bubby” when I’m leaving the house.  I really don’t care what others may think of me being this way – it’s how I choose to be, and that is what brings me comfort.

Spirit Orbs – okay this is going down a deeper rabbit hole for some of you.  But I’m going with it anyway!  There is such a thing as Spirit Orbs – Spirit Energy.  Sometimes presenting as a circular, semi-transparent, white orb, such as the ones that have presented themselves to me. 

Cameras let us see things through a different lens, that our own eyes cannot see or pick up on, and I’m not talking about specs of dust floating around that sometimes get picked up in the light of the camera.  Spirit Orbs can be small or large, but they are undeniable when you see them.  Kind of like a full moon is.

An Orb is just a “reflection” of your loved one – it’s not really your loved one’s appearance per se.   It’s just a little glimpse of what the camera or video is picking up when they are there.  Their energy.  The lens is not able to capture it completely.

So, back to Fletcher – I saw his Spirit Orb.  A quite large, white, semi-transparent ball.  It was captured on my home security camera.  I had just been downstairs doing my laundry.  It was a couple of days after his passing, and I had his fluffy dog bed on top of my washer, ready to wash but hadn’t done it yet.  As I was down there, I picked up his bed and sniffed it, just to remember his smell.  I said, “I really miss you”.

About 5 minutes after I came back upstairs, my security app on my phone alerted me that “there is a person in your basement”.  When I looked at the footage, I saw the Spirit Orb rise up from Fletchers bed and then zoom towards the camera and then back up to the ceiling and out of sight.  At first I was startled, but then when I started to put the pieces together I realized it was Fletcher.  I can’t tell you how that warmed my heart – I cried, but it was tears of sadness mixed with joy, knowing that I had just received this validation from him, letting me know he was with me.

Your loved ones watch over you.  They pop in from time to time to check on you.  When there’s good things going on in your life, your loved ones want to be a part of it.  The same way, when you are suffering, they want to offer you their support.

Because they are “energy”, as they move through your home the energy may sometimes disturb things.  Maybe a book falls over.  Or a light flickers.  Or the TV turns on by itself.  Your loved one doesn’t necessarily do this on purpose – the energy field is electromagnetic, so it moves, and therefor can cause this disturbance.

What you think of as “coincidences” are usually a sign that your loved ones are nearby.  You turn on the radio and they are playing a song that had special meaning to you and your loved one; you smell their perfume; you see them in your dreams; some random things happen that remind you of them; or you just simply “feel” or have a sense that they are there…usually at the time you need it the most.  It’s their way of telling you they are in spirit and still a part of your life.

The more “open” you are, the more you will receive from this experience, and be on the road to healing your heart and moving forward.

Remember…they are never truly gone.

To your Healing,